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Since grief can be extremely painful, it may seem strange to think of it as "healthy." Yet grief is a normal reaction to loss, and it is an essential part of the healing process. Grief reactions occur not only following death, but also after changes such as divorce, loss of a job, miscarriage, or serious illness. Some common reactions early in the grief process include: · Shock and "numbness"; thoughts such as "this can't be happening…this isn't possible." · Anger, guilt, and the question, "Why me?" · Increase or decrease in religious faith · Sadness and despair · Loss of interest in activities · Difficulty concentrating or working There are a number of things that people can do to help themselves move through the grief process. · Don't be surprised if your reactions become more intense after the initial shock wears off. This is normal. · Rather than avoiding any thoughts about the loss, look for natural opportunities (e.g., birthdays and anniversaries) to remember the good times. This gets easier to do as time goes on. · Recognize that many different reactions are normal, and accept rather than fight them. Again, these reactions help the grief process move forward. · One of the big tasks in grieving is to figure out how you will manage after the loss. Don't pressure yourself to have all the answers now; they will come in time. · Get all the support you can: bereavement support groups, friends, family, and clergy. · If you're a more private person and uncomfortable with the idea of a support group, consider keeping a regular journal of your thoughts and feelings. You'll be surprised how much it helps. · Try not to make too many other changes in your life at once. Allow yourself to take comfort in familiar things (e.g., meals, routines, activities). · If, after a reasonable time, you continue to experience intense feelings, or you have difficulty at home or at work, consider talking with a counselor. |
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